My chunky monkey

The Little Misters

Retraction, blackmail and apology

Ok, so I’m not too excited to write this post.

Actually, I’m not excited at all.

The gist of this post is: I need to borrow some money from Shelbie, but before she cuts me a check, she is going to blackmail me by forcing me to post a retraction on a recent blog post I wrote.

Do you remember this? :

We finished the evening off by a traditional Shelbie/Shyloh sand catfight. As you can tell from these photos….I totally won.

This is what a good old fashioned butt whoopin looks like:

Ok,  well the honest truth is…it looked more like this:

This is the standoff:

This is Shelbie making her move:

This is Shyloh (er…me…) getting her (uh…my…) face rubbed in the sand.

Yeah, well guess what? I liked it!!! Sand is exfoliating for the skin! So…take that.

 

This is Shelbie doing her victory dance:

This is me, running from the bully.

  

True story. And I’m not proud of it. How is it that I outweigh her by about 30lbs, yet I was the one who got the butt whoopin’?

Ok! That’s done. Whew!

You all should be feeling sorry for me. Not only is the meany making me print a retraction…she’s also further humiliating me by making me admit to the bloggersphere that I used to drop my heavy alarm clock on her face every night.

Before you gasp in horror, it sounds way worse than it actually is. In fact, in my defense, she’s the idiot who night after night looked up at me when I called from the top bunk: “Ooooh Shelbie!!!” as I dropped my alarm on her face. Seriously, how stupid can you get? Night after night after night after night …after night…

Two down, one to go…

Lastly, this is a shout out to Lolly:  Nematodes do not crawl up lawn chairs, they don’t nestle between your toes. And lastly, they don’t eat toe fuzz. I’m sorry for scaring you. Leave your flip flops in the house, you will be fine.

Ok, I’m done. I hope you (Shelbie) enjoy this post and are pleased with yourself.

Now please make the check out to “Shyloh Bauman.”

Thank-you, it was nice doing business with you.

 

Love you Shelbie!!!! ;-))

Map Gag

The old polaroid gag

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A trip to the beach

On Tuesday Bodey and I went with my family to the beach. Yes, we all still fit in the van. No, not comfortably. My sweet sister Shaylah sat on a milk carton crate that was wedged between the 2nd row and the door, while Shayden and Shadd (bad combo…) got stuck double buckling.  Bodey and I got our own seats. ;-)

This was both baby’s first long car ride, and they did fantastic! Out of the whole ride (there and back home again) I think they both only fussed for a total of 20 minutes combined. 

Instead of writing a book on each “highlight” of the day, I decided to just post a whole bunch of pictures and a brief paragraph on the days’ highs and lows.

First highlight of the day (or for some, could be considered a low…) was when Shelbie decided to bless her mama, daddy and favoritest sister (me) by making us all a smoothie for breakfast. Mama likes a lot of weird stuff in her smoothie, such as an organic egg and some flax seed, which Shelbie always faithfully adds. As she was adding stuff to my mom’s smoothie I thought the flax seed looked funny, but didn’t think anything other than, “Eeew, I’d never drink that.” My mom was busy when her smoothie was finished, so she didn’t get to drink it right away. Using the same blender she made my dad I my smoothie. The kitchen started smelling funny like garlic, and nobody knew why. She finished daddy’s smoothie and he chugged it down. Then she finished mine. She set it next to my moms, and seeing how hers had a whole bunch of nastiness in it, I wanted to make sure I didn’t drink hers. We couldn’t figure out who’s was who’s and more importantly, why one of them was foamy on top. Finally I went to take a sip of one and commented that it tasted like garlic. My dad quickly piped in and said his tasted like garlic also. Suddenly, it started to dawn on all of us…the bag of “flaxseed” she used wasn’t actually flaxseed at all…it was minced garlic!! Yuck!!

The boy’s were in heaven playing in the tide pools. They spent all day catching giant crabs and shell hunting. The second highlight of the trip was…little miss Shylie didn’t get sick on the car ride!!! Woot woot!! The weather was supposed to be 75o , but by the time we got there, it was pretty chilly. None of us prepared for chilly weather, so that was a bit of a bummer. But it was still a beautiful day.

   Little Mister slept the whole time. While the other little Mister was awake blinking and squinting from the bright sunshine the whole time.

Miss Lolly gave Shiro some fierce Lolly lovin’ the whole time. Poor little lad…he’s too young to escape her wild passion.   Shylie girl dazzled us all by her adorableness.Some of the bigger kids (plus Poppet) went snorkeling in the freezing cold water.   Mama snoozed in the sunshine.

(I realized after seeing this picture that Shelbie and I kinda look like each other!) We finished the evening off by a traditional Shelbie/Shyloh sand catfight. As you can tell from these photos….I totally won.

This is what a good old fashioned butt whoopin looks like:

A good time was had by all. Hopefully we’ll be going back soon!

Meet Mr Grouchy Pants

2 months old!

Happy 2 month birthday, Bodey!