New way to promote absinence:

I realized today that public school systems are going about teaching their students to be "safe" and to not get pregnant all wrong. I discovered the absolute perfect way to instill such a fear in young people (and maybe even older people!!) that sex outside of marriage would be virtually unheard of. I plan on writing up my thoughts and theories and mailing a copy of my book (after today, I am sure writing a book on the subject would be easy peasy) to every school in America.

My answer to keeping kids from sleeping around? Instead of sending them home with those stupid dolls, make each kid spend a day with a family of 9 kids. *(Though I'm sure a family of 5 or 6 kids would work just as well...) In fact, make them take a field trip with the family. I kid you not, they'd all be signing virginity pledges at the end of the night.

(*The reason I state a lot of children, isn't because the number is so terrible, because what occured today would easily have occurred just the same with 2 or 3 children. But having it mulitplied to 5 or more is more effective.) ;-)

Today I went with my family up to Dodge Ridge to be a lodge bunny with my mom for the day. And now, as I am home alone, feeling my little baby blessing bounce around inside of me, I'm majorly questioning my parenting skills.

Do I have what it takes?
Can I do it?
Can I survive it!?!?

Obviously it's too late ;-) This little baby is coming soon!!

Before continuing...please note: this entire post is written out of jest with much giggling as I'm typing. My siblings aren't as awful as I make them sound. They are just kids. And kids will be kids. I'm grateful for all they "put me through" today ;-) as I have learned more about children and parenting in one day, than a class that spans 6 weeks.

Children really are a blessing from the Lord...but as I realized today, not only are they blessings...but God totally uses them to teach the parents many things. Among these things, some of them are: sacrifice, other centered-ness, learning to laugh at the silly things in life that may ruffle our feathers--and the sooner you learn this one, the better of you are! and...germs are not deadly.

Today was an eye opener for me. I grew up with a lot of siblings, but I guess having been married for a year and a half now and out of the house, I've forgotten most of what I realized and learned today.

The number one thing I learned: Children are disgusting. No matter how old they are.
The number two thing I learned: Children are annoying. No matter how old they are.
The number three thing I learned: Children can not sit still. No matter how old they are.

I'm going to start out at the beginning of the day....

6:30am the big Ney van pulled up in front of my house to collect me and take me with them up to Dodge for the day. Running on just 5 hours of sleep, I brought my pillow with me and was so excited to be able to sleep on the ride up. I mean, it's 6:30am, the kids will be sleeping on the way up...right? WRONG! I walked out to the van, and was greeted by 8 very wide awake and excited kids. I decided then that I wasn't even going to try to sleep--I'd just sleep when I get there.

For some reason today, the van stunk. I'm not sure if it was just pregnancy hormones...or if it really did stink. I think it really did stink.

I was sitting by Shylie, who hadn't had her teeth brushed yet (she only has a few of them anyways!) and she was happily sucking on her binkie. I'm fine with babies and toddlers using pacifiers...until they are old enough that their breath stinks when they suck on it. The whole way up I had to smell her disgusting saliva smell.

Then, there was another scent that was undetectable until about an hour into the drive. One of the boys had brought a big blanket with them. Apparently they sleep with dogs, and when my mom grabbed the blanket and moved it around, Essence a la' dog filled the entire van. It was so wretched that everyone was gasping for air and opening their windows. I wasn't bugged that they brought the blanket with them...what bugged me, is the fact that they sleep with that blanket smelling that way! Yuuuuck.

Then, to top off a hot, sweaty and smelly ride, about an hour and a half into the drive poor Shylie gets car sick. She starts throwing up. She obviously doesn't know what to do, so she grabs at her mouth while puking--getting it all over her hands. I lunge for the car garbage can to catch the rest of her throw up in. After she's done, I clean her up (gagging the whole time) and then think everything is good. Well, about ten minutes later she gets sick again. I grab for the garbage can again, this time, sticking my hand in the mess from the last puking episode. Now it's on me. The car smells. It's all over Shylie. I'm cleaning it up. I cleaned her up again, gagging even worse this time. A few minutes after Shylie get's sick, Shannen starts feeling green and declares he needs to throw up. He held the garbage can--covered in Shylie's throw up--and waited to get sick. Now I'M feeling green! I turned to the window and opened it for a bit of fresh air. From the back seat, now Lolly yells, "Daddy, I feel sick. I think I'm going to throw up." We were about 5 minutes away--thank goodness! And as soon as we got there, all person's feeling green immediately recovered.

I begged my mom to go bathe Shylie in a toilet or something, since she reeked of puke. I'm pretty sure she didn't go with that idea... but all that really matters, is that Shylie did not stink like puke all day.

We started unloading the van, and before it was even half unloaded, the eager little girlies were bouncing all over the place begging to go play...begging to watch a movie...asking for a snack...running up and down in the lodge...on and on and on. I was amazed. We had only been there for about 10 minutes and they were already stir crazy!!

Once we were unloaded, we ate breakfast. Breakfast went okay--or at least that I could see. ;-) After breakfast, the bigger kidos went out to begin their day. Mama and I were left with the three little girls.

By now I was exhausted, so I lay down on the floor to hopefully catch some Zzzzz's. That was very difficult to do. I had curled up against the wall all the way in the corner just to avoid being in the way, but obviously these little girls thought that I was the one in the way. They tripped all over me for nearly an hour before the started watching "Finding Nemo." By now, my head is getting tired of being stepped on and my hair is screaming for help, as every time they step on me the velcro on their shoes caught my hair and ripped it out. Somehow, by God's grace (he knew I needed some sleep!) I was able to snooze for about an hour.

When I woke up, I was feeling a bit more refreshed. My mom and I were able to visit and hang out and chat together while the girlies watched their movie. I was complaining about how hyper they were and at one point, exclaimed in amazement, "Can't they just sit still?! I mean we get here and they totally spazzed out." She just laughed at me. She's a old veteran when it comes to mothering. She's learned along the way that laughing at these little nuisances (not referring to the children, but what they are doing) makes for a much happier and less stressful day. Plus, it brings so much more joy to mothering. Being all stiff and uptight over everything (like me...) can put a strain on the joy's mothering is meant to bring.

As we were talking, I realized with horror...I'm not a dog person. I'm not a cat person. I'm not even a fish person!! And really, oh my poor hubby...am I even a husband person??! (haha, kidding! I haven't wanted to get rid of him yet!) But really...am I going to be a kid person? From how I acted today, I kind of doubt it. Uh oh. I'm in trouble, because kids aren't like pets. You can't just drop them off at the SPCA when you're tired of them!

Throughout the day there were many situations that thoroughly disgusted me. I had no idea children were so nasty.

At one point, Lolly walks up to my mom with a napkin and says, "There is a boogie in my nose, I can't get it. Can you please?" My mom had to dig in her nose to extract the booger. Later, as Shylie hid underneath the table to fill her pants with poop, I thought: "If she is old enough to be embarrassed to poop in a diaper out in the public eye...she's old enough to poop in a toilet!" The smell that permeated from this child was unbelievable. Like death. I can only imagine changing that diaper myself... I think I would die. I watched all three of my brothers use the bathroom and leave without washing their hands--only to follow that bathroom trip up by eating using their hands. (eeeww!) I witnessed Poppet picking her seat, then eating with the same hand. Then I watched as Lolly spit on her hands and used them to wash her face--yes, with her spit. Oh, and to top it all off...Shylie decided to sneeze in my face with a mouthful of cookies.

I'm thinking that the only reason all of this is bugging me...since it's nothing new, is maybe due to the fact that I'm pregnant and all of my hormones are on in full gear. But still, I doubt that there is a program that allows mothers to send their children away for 9 months while they are pregnant and hormonal.

The ride home was not nearly as nauseating as the ride there. Though at the beginning it got a little scary when Shylie started complaining about a belly ache. But though the ride home wasn't as nasty as the ride there, it felt sooooo much longer. My ear drums are still ringing and my head is still pounding.

The entire ride home, we got to listen to Shylie girl scream at the top of her lungs over something we could never figure out. At one point during the ride, she was begging Mama to make "Lulu leave." (I am "Lulu"...she wanted to kick me out of the van and make me walk!!) I admit, I had been antagonizing her, but really? Such a harsh punishment?! It was only the last 30 minutes of the ride, that she became sweet again, and only once she started passing gas. This little girl's body smells are terrible. She's only 2!! There is no reason she should stink like that! At one point, she popped a bunny and then started singing a "hallelujah" song. (Totally not kidding about that either!) Later, after she quieted down and was being sweet, Lolly spilt some water on her car seat. She started crying hysterically, and then for the next 20 minutes we had to listen to Shylie scream "Lolly Nooo!"


All in all, the day was rather comical. It wasn't at the time, but now, as I type all of these little moments of awfulness out, I'm finding myself giggling over the memories.


However, in truth, I do think that sending any high school student with us on today's trip would forever echo in their young minds. I bet you anything that that kid wouldn't end up pregnant out of wedlock!


Now, at the end of the day, I am so grateful to have gone with them. They have two more ski trips coming up--one at the end of the month and one next month--I plan on going to both with them. These little outings with them are excellent crash course reminders as to what the rest of my life will hold.


But for the next trip...I'm going with a different mindset. I realized today much of the frustrations I "endured" were my own doing. I was being selfish and self centered (same thing, right?) and didn't want to deal with them. (Except for the nastiness...that's just pregnancy, I'm sure!) I was too uptight with everything, and at the end of the day, when my dad made the comment: "When it comes to parenting we are so quick to say "no. no. no." We need to stop and ask ourselves, "does it really matter that they are doing that?" Most often it doesn't, we are just being lazy and not wanting to deal with it. If we just let it go and let them be kids, it makes our jobs easier and more enjoyable." That comment struck me and shed light on the entire day. Most of their goofyness and hyperness is just them being kids, but I spent so much time crabbing about them that if I had just lightened up it would have been a much more joyous day--for both me and the girlies.


Every time I see my father-in-law, he likes to remind me: "For the next 18 years this baby is going to daily bring you misery." I disagree with him entirely. Maybe for him that was the case, but if that was his case...it's only because he let them daily bring him misery. I really think much of parenting is a mindset. Yes, children can bring daily misery...or with the right mindset, they can bring daily joy and blessings. What bugged me today is if I had had a different mindset starting the day out, the day would have brought me fits of giggled and laughs. But because I didn't have that mindset on, it brought me much irritation and annoyance.


Children are blessings from the Lord, not "miseries" from the Lord. People who complain about them being miseries are only bringing that upon themselves. If everyone applied my dad's thinking to their parenting, I think parents everywhere would say that: "Yes, children can be naughty but they are also great blessings."


One other thing I would have done differently today, and now I know for next time...I'm going to be bringing a little spray bottle of vodka along to clean my hands with and wipe the children down in every time they do something nasty. ;-)


I realized today, that the Lord is probably going to give me many many many children. He knows I need stretched and refined in so many areas of life, that only a child can help with. If i'm not a "kid person" today, I know that I will definitely be one in a few years.

Finally, the 4th thing I learned today is: the first three things I "learned" are things that aren't important and don't need to be learned. They only need to be learned by people who don't have the right parenting mindset. The only thing that I learned that needs to stick is: keep the right mindset on when it comes to children. God uses Children and their little personalities to teach us...to mold us...to grow us. If we can keep that thought in mind, much of the dificulties we encounter wouldn't need to be encountered at all.

As my parents said so many times throughout the day, "Welcome to parenthood." So, bring on the days of baby spit up, dirty diapers, colicky babies, booger pickers, bootie scratchers, and anything else children might bring to the table. Time for the Lord to begin refining me.

And a hearty "thank-you" to all my siblings...who woke me up from my unrealistic dream of flower smelling diapers, angel babies and a yellow brick road. I think I am now ready to begin the journey of motherhood with a realistic vision and the right mindset. If you ever see me forgetting that mindset...please take me on another family field trip and do everything in your power to remind me of the mindset I need to have. :-)